It’s unbelievable what stress and anxiety can do to the human body. Since my return from China, I have felt extremely out of sorts. I wake up in the morning sore and exhausted from 10 hours of sleep…yes, exhausted. The days seem so long and by 5:00 PM, you can stick a fork in me because I’m done. I have no appetite but attempt to eat some dinner anyway and am typically back in bed around 7:00 PM. This, of course, is after an hour-long battle with my equilibrium so that I can stand upright. I must have the swine flu I’d think to myself, or I’m just coping with jetlag. After all, we were adjusting to a 12 hour time difference.
I checked with my health care provider to find a primary care doctor in Burlington to rid myself of this “disease” once and for all. After a short conversation over text messages with Jenica, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was stressed. Why? I have everything I need to live, a great job, had just returned from a life-changing trip, etc. I pondered these things late into the night until I felt I had come to a solid conclusion.
I was carrying the weight of the world (including China, and that’s heavy!) on my shoulders. It was during my experience in China that put a face and name to poverty and oppression and I felt like it was my responsibility to fix these issues. Obviously, I know that I can’t take on the problems of the world alone, but something shifted in me and suddenly I felt moved to make substantial changes in my life. I found myself completing a Peace Corps application, a volunteer application for COTS in downtown Burlington, and seeking out opportunities to make some iota of a difference for the betterment of humanity.
For me, China was life-changing, paradigm-shifting, and an experience that has completely altered my future plans. Even though I find myself hurting for the impoverished and aching for the oppressed, I no longer battle swine flu symptoms and my indecisive equilibrium. *Sigh*
Tags: china, Kat, Kat's Mojo, stress
